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上午10:05:42"}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-3nf48um","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":2,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-3nf48um","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"阅读指南"}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-pljpegv","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":3,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-pljpegv","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"重点笔记"}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-tsnnkmh","Type":"NodeList","ListData":{},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-tsnnkmh","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-bfn6zuo","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-bfn6zuo","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-mbm9uih","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-mbm9uih","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"失败并非成功之母,对失败的反思才是。——约翰·杜威(John Dewey),哲学家、心理学家和教育改革家"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-5uu2l0o","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-5uu2l0o","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-oizstva","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-oizstva","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"伦纳德·伯恩斯坦曾说:“若想实现伟业,你将需要一份计划,以及不那么充裕的时间。"}]}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-z24r4xq","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":2,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-z24r4xq","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"引言 真正的人生"}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-m949ed1","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":3,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-m949ed1","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"重点笔记"}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-dzc79s8","Type":"NodeList","ListData":{},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-dzc79s8","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-9enngv3","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-9enngv3","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-sb3axgt","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-sb3axgt","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"弗洛伊德曾经说过:“工作,爱情;爱情,工作……人生不外如是"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-cp3ix6j","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-cp3ix6j","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-d5j9jjb","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-d5j9jjb","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"太多像凯特一样的年轻人误以为20多岁无关紧要但事实却与此相反这不仅是他们最为关键的十年而且从很多方面来看这也是他们最为艰难的十年。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-p4yiujd","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-p4yiujd","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-mjzf0qh","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-mjzf0qh","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"但在离开学校之后,学期不再,课程安排不再,考试也不再。没人告诉你,你每天要做什么;也没人告诉你,你表现如何。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-9f4w3e6","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-9f4w3e6","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-89lghai","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-89lghai","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"在哪里定居?以什么为业?是否要与人结为伴侣?如何结为伴侣?什么时候结为伴侣?和谁结为伴侣?"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-yab5x6n","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-yab5x6n","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-i01zbpt","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-i01zbpt","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"我感觉自己就像是在一片汪洋大海里,看不见任何陆地,也不知道该往哪个方向游。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-ws10cb7","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-ws10cb7","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-8btllzc","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-8btllzc","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"► 20多岁就像一场没有答案的考试也没有考试时间限制我不知道如何才能交出让人满意的答卷。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-zziyeui","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-zziyeui","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-eejwfpb","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-eejwfpb","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"不确定性使人焦虑,而各种分散注意力的事物则成了现代人的精神鸦片。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-6vxfx2u","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-6vxfx2u","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-h0wac65","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-h0wac65","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"我们很可能都听说过这样一个观点5岁前是儿童成长发育包括语言、情感、视觉、听觉及大脑发育的关键期[插图]。这个关键期也被称作敏感期是我们快速学习的最佳机会。不过我们可能比较少听到的是成人发展这个概念。而20多岁作为成人发展的关键期同样也是我们进行改变和快速成长的最佳机会。20多岁时任何一个改变都可能带来巨大的影响。20多岁时我们看似寻常的生活将会为我们的未来带来超乎寻常的影响。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-4mjjw9f","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-4mjjw9f","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-0z8pj0b","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-0z8pj0b","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"我们将探讨为什么20多岁时的工作经历往往对我们未来的职业生涯及经济收入产生最大的影响即使它们看上去并不光鲜。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-tc0ljt5","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-tc0ljt5","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-qhqkpln","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-qhqkpln","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"你将会发现为什么是那些我们几乎不认识的人而非最亲近的朋友对我们的人生影响最大。你将会发现如何踏入职场才会让我们感觉更好而非更糟。你将会发现为什么同居或许并非测试感情的最好方式。你将会发现为什么20多岁时我们的性格会发生最大的改变而非这之前或这之后。你将会发现我们可以选择我们的家庭而不只是选择我们的朋友。你将会发现自信并非由内而外而是由外而内"}]}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-46aqv7f","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":2,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-46aqv7f","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"工作"}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-sk0g4wt","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":3,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-sk0g4wt","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"重点笔记"}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-zwiyxsa","Type":"NodeList","ListData":{},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-zwiyxsa","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-haskpjq","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-haskpjq","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-mzopov9","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-mzopov9","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"身份资本是我们个人资本的积累。它体现着我们是谁,以及我们的人生是如何度过的。它包括我们对自己的投资,以及因我们擅长或长时间从事而逐渐演变为自己身份一部分的事情。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-wlfrvie","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-wlfrvie","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-4r99zn3","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-4r99zn3","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"一些身份资本,譬如学位证书、工作经历、考试成绩或社团活动,可以写在简历里;但另一些身份资本,则更为私人化,包括我们是如何向外界展现自己的,我们是如何解决问题的,我们从哪里来,以及我们的爱好或其他人生经历"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-ya24l1g","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-ya24l1g","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-ri9145m","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-ri9145m","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"随着身份认同危机的概念在美国逐渐流行,埃里克森曾亲自提醒大家,不要花太多时间在“无谓的迷茫”(disengaged confusion)[插图]上。他对于太多年轻人处于“脱离社会的危险”表示担忧。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-fc05r82","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-fc05r82","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-h5d84ji","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-h5d84ji","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"还有些工作则可以给自己积累身份资本,就像我做户外拓展的领队一样,而这比什么都强"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-txlb59x","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-txlb59x","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-1uw5jxp","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-1uw5jxp","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"与20多岁时失业相关联的是中年时期的酗酒问题和精神抑郁[插图],即使有了固定工作,情况也没有改变"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-83adaeo","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-83adaeo","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-a33eb8l","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-a33eb8l","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"为了避免踏入“真实世界”而不去从事“真正的工作”,因此在就业不足的状态里年复一年地混着日子。慢慢地,他们被这样的状态磨去了本有的激情和动力,而不再去寻找那些或许能让他们真正快乐的工作"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-xvhgak8","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-xvhgak8","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-nrwdac7","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-nrwdac7","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"“在你20多岁时你一生能赚多少钱就已经基本确定了”"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-wegtty9","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-wegtty9","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-0iazaxy","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-0iazaxy","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"他们在步入三四十岁后或许有一天会突然发现自己20多岁时随意选择的工作最终让自己付出了惨痛的代价。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-hqm3xxw","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-hqm3xxw","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-wzaf71c","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-wzaf71c","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"一直以来的建议都是选择身份资本含量最高的工作。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-ewhy19f","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-ewhy19f","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-ro3vf3d","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-ro3vf3d","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"在我认识的朋友里,没有哪个人在毕业的时候,就非常清楚自己想做什么。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-wdan2y3","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-wdan2y3","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-ps1w8oa","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-ps1w8oa","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"我在这里学到的一个教训是:你没办法通过苦思冥想来了解自己想做什么,唯一的办法就是,去做一些事情。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-2vk9oyk","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-2vk9oyk","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-fl6byit","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-fl6byit","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"不难想象,五年十年之后,咖啡馆的海伦和动画公司的海伦,她们之间的差别将会有多大。"}]}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-t3ggdo2","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":2,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-t3ggdo2","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"2 弱连接"}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-qh0shyl","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":3,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-qh0shyl","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"重点笔记"}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-7yffcek","Type":"NodeList","ListData":{},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-7yffcek","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-36osi1p","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-36osi1p","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-oqsd8zx","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-oqsd8zx","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"那些几乎只和一小群人来往的人,也许永远不会意识到,真正决定他们生活的,不是自己频繁来往的那一小群人,而是他们未能想象的、更大的一群人。——罗斯·科泽(Rose Coser),社会学家"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-2sbcxm1","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-2sbcxm1","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-ujm9l9s","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-ujm9l9s","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"简单的一个“好”字,能让你获得你的第一份工作、你的下一份工作、你的伴侣甚至是你的孩子。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-pavbgfm","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-pavbgfm","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-i293nlp","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-i293nlp","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"她告诉我,这些书应该是不小心送到我这儿的;不过没关系,好好享受它们。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-bu5iiv0","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-bu5iiv0","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-ezgdsxk","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-ezgdsxk","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"而本书的诞生,也和许多成人世界里的机缘巧合一样,都源自所谓的“弱连接”。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-epf6hl3","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-epf6hl3","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-s6rzlg3","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-s6rzlg3","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"朋友,或许可以在我们生病时提供支持和照料,但真正让我们的生命往好的方向产生快速而剧烈变化的人,往往是那些我们几乎不怎么认识的“圈外人”。* * *早于Facebook出现的25年前社会学家兼斯坦福大学教授马克·格兰诺维特(Mark 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high)[插图]。无数研究表明,利他行为与健康、长寿和幸福——所有这些成年人想要的东西,都呈正相关关系。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-ajapfmo","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-ajapfmo","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-aguan0k","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-aguan0k","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"有些年轻人在向弱连接求助时,会带来过于宽泛的职业问题,企图让别人帮自己规划未来。这些问题或许难不倒这些成功人士,但是这很可能会占据他们太多时间。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-8tx4kom","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-8tx4kom","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-qe6d6pt","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-qe6d6pt","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"在我们20多岁时弱连接会是我们最好的资源不仅现在是未来也是只要你有勇气了解自己想要什么。"}]}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-9vg0g1u","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":2,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-9vg0g1u","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"3 未知的已知"}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-kqn14a6","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":3,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-kqn14a6","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"重点笔记"}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-ts1a97n","Type":"NodeList","ListData":{},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-ts1a97n","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-zoe3s0v","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-zoe3s0v","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-086op03","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-086op03","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"年少时,寻找自我并非执着所有的可能性,而是以新的可能性,直面对自己而言真正重要的事物。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-pvqrj9o","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-pvqrj9o","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-zdyhxtp","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-zdyhxtp","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"但伊恩关于大海的比喻让我感觉真的很难受。当我想象自己和他一样在大海中拼命挣扎而毫无方向时,我也想不出什么好办法。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-cwzo7e0","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-cwzo7e0","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-rbj9vmv","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-rbj9vmv","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"所谓的不知道做什么决定才好,其潜台词是,你希望能有一种办法让你不必为自己的决定负责就顺利度过一生。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-q9ad9g0","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-q9ad9g0","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-mnso3oz","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-mnso3oz","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"。有一天,他或许会到达一个陌生的地方,做着和自己无关的事情,过着不属于自己的生活,而当他突然意识到自己想要什么的时候,却发现一切都为时已晚"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-421hu60","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-421hu60","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-nfp1d2y","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-nfp1d2y","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"像伊恩一样的年轻人,他们在成长过程中,耳边充斥着各种善意但抽象的鼓励,比如“追寻你的梦想!”“要志存高远!”"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-x64jm5g","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-x64jm5g","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-howvx1o","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-howvx1o","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"心理学领域有一项经典的研究,叫果酱实验[插图],由社会心理学家希"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-e9l9aib","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-e9l9aib","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-mxw1x8r","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-mxw1x8r","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"娜·艾扬格(Sheena Iyengar)所创。艾扬格在斯坦福大学研究人们如何做出选择时想到当地的杂货铺是研究该问题的最佳场所。于是她让自己的研究助手乔装为果酱小贩在一家食品杂货铺前摆摊。其中一个摊位有6种口味的果酱桃子酱、黑樱桃酱、红加仑酱、猕猴桃酱、橘子酱及柠檬酱。而另外一个摊位有24种不同口味的果酱除去刚才的6种再加上另外18种。凡是品尝过果酱的顾客都可以凭优惠券购买果酱。这项果酱实验的核心发现"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-l69uh7k","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-l69uh7k","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-xglne8h","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-xglne8h","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":",人们在做选择时,少即是多。也就是说,我们所面临的选择越少,我们则越有可能做出选择。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-e0olomz","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-e0olomz","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-iysu1ls","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-iysu1ls","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"这意味着人们在面临更少选择时做出选择的可能性是面临更多选择时的10倍。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-544ka28","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-544ka28","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-2s0o5ip","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-2s0o5ip","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"我问他,是否也被人生中所谓的太多选择所淹没。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-ghec2kv","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-ghec2kv","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-4thpj4n","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-4thpj4n","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"“好问题。”我说“如果你想在20多岁时做出任何决定我想部分原因必定在于你已经意识到了所谓的24种口味并不存在。这是一个迷思。”"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-vr3nrin","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-vr3nrin","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-gnr49fa","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-gnr49fa","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"不过我至今还没有遇到过真正面临着24个实际选择的年轻人。其实每个人都是在从自己现有的6种口味里选择最好的一个。”"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-kike8dg","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-kike8dg","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-jglsnui","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-jglsnui","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"你过去20多年的时间并不是白过的它们塑造了现在的你包括你的经历、你的学历、你的兴趣、你的优势和劣势、你喜欢什么及不喜欢什么。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-fpqe8wq","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-fpqe8wq","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-1ws1tl5","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-1ws1tl5","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"你不想面对你已经知道的,你一直在逃避。”"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-trnprik","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-trnprik","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-3da8t9i","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-3da8t9i","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"我听说伊恩曾主修建筑学,但中途放弃,转而攻读认知科学专业;因为他对科技和感知感兴趣。我看到伊恩在谈到想做创意性工作时的那种轻松的样子。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-sjhge7u","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-sjhge7u","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-crefr53","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-crefr53","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"这样说没什么不好。工作优先于爱情我从20多岁的年轻人那里——尤其是年轻男性那里曾无数次听到这样的表述。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-8c6fovw","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-8c6fovw","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-y218ins","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-y218ins","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"伊恩的故事,刚好印证了精神分析学家克里斯托弗·博拉斯(Christopher Bollas)所提出的“未知的已知”(the unthought known)[插图]。它指的是那些我们本来知道,但不知怎的又在意识中被遗忘的事物。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-unygnmo","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-unygnmo","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-2y491am","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-2y491am","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"甚至在更多时候,我们害怕那些未知的已知将会为自己人生带来真正的影响。我们不愿承认,那些未知的已知可能就是我们接下来所要做的事情。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-1n0cjaw","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-1n0cjaw","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-vr6hh26","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-vr6hh26","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"。让人更为害怕的不确定是你很想要,但不知如何得到;努力争取,但不知是否会成功。当我们做出决定,这意味着我们可能会经历失败和心碎,痛苦与磨难。所以有时候选择不知道、不决定、不行动,会感觉更容易。"}]}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-420bd96","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":2,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-420bd96","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"4 Instagram上的完美人生"}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-o6jtr57","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":3,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-o6jtr57","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"重点笔记"}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-hs3xr4l","Type":"NodeList","ListData":{},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-hs3xr4l","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-x3rsbv4","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-x3rsbv4","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-nsd89dd","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-nsd89dd","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"如果我们只想幸福,那其实易如反掌;但如果我们想比别人更幸福,那将会难于登天。因为我们总感觉别人更幸福。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-h3f8k4m","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-h3f8k4m","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-4u796ht","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-4u796ht","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"向上社会比较,指的是我们将自己与那些有着或看上去有着更好生活的人进行比较的过程。有时,它可以帮助自我评价,甚至还可以激励我们前进。但更多时候,它会损害我们的自信,让我们变得萎靡不振,动力不足。"}]}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-e9s2wtr","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":2,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-e9s2wtr","updated":"20250916101155"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"5 追求荣耀"}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-2ctohh6","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":3,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-2ctohh6","updated":"20250916101155"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"重点笔记"}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-91ej9f3","Type":"NodeList","ListData":{},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-91ej9f3","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-jpvjv4z","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-jpvjv4z","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-rh8fhou","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-rh8fhou","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"完美,是卓越的敌人。——伏尔泰,作家、哲学家幸福的真谛,在于思想与行动的统一。——圣雄甘地,作家、哲学"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-c6i8inm","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-c6i8inm","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-lbrdtw1","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-lbrdtw1","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"目标来源于内在的向往,而“应该”来源于外在的评判。目标是我们自己真正的渴望,而“应该”是别人强加给自己的标准。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-hksz799","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-hksz799","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-1ozb5qo","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-1ozb5qo","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"学校里,塔莉娅很擅长遵循指令。但工作之后,她变得更加独立自主。她处理人际关系的能力也在无数的会议和电话沟通中得到了提升"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-380g0m7","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-380g0m7","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-cm2fsjs","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-cm2fsjs","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"我知道我不能再因为这不好那不好而一直焦虑下去了。人生本来就是不完美的。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-wex5y5y","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-wex5y5y","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-2iirzc2","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-2iirzc2","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"现在回看我的20多岁时的经历我觉得就像从梦里被突然叫醒虽然粗鲁但是值得。我甚至很感激这一切让我经历了内在的蜕变。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-g342arq","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-g342arq","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-sqfhr2d","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-sqfhr2d","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"工作日下班后,她会坐在家里,翻着以前派对上或度假时的照片,怀念过去的美好时光。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-ji68g1m","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-ji68g1m","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-lmo4vet","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-lmo4vet","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"“我现在难道不应该去法国旅行三年或者做点诸如此类的事吗?”她的语气里带着一半疑惑和一半愤怒。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101006-q0e9utg","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-q0e9utg","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101006-89il6sg","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101006-89il6sg","updated":"20250916101006"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"成年人的生活不是建立在美食、祈祷和恋爱上,而是建立在人物、地点和事情上:我们和谁在一起,我们住在哪里,我们靠什么谋生,这些才是构成我们生活的元素,也是我们生活的起点。"}]}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101155-5o3dza4","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101155-5o3dza4","updated":"20250916101155"}},{"ID":"20250916101156-xdg5d5k","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":1,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-xdg5d5k","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"人生十年不可辜负的20岁到30岁"}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-qt9zovn","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-qt9zovn","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeTextMark","TextMarkType":"strong","TextMarkTextContent":"最后同步时间"},{"Type":"NodeText","Data":": 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20多岁就像一场没有答案的考试也没有考试时间限制我不知道如何才能交出让人满意的答卷。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-nn0t38t","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-nn0t38t","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-sfhq0rl","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-sfhq0rl","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"不确定性使人焦虑,而各种分散注意力的事物则成了现代人的精神鸦片。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-qjg35gg","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-qjg35gg","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-a8h4q43","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-a8h4q43","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"我们很可能都听说过这样一个观点5岁前是儿童成长发育包括语言、情感、视觉、听觉及大脑发育的关键期[插图]。这个关键期也被称作敏感期是我们快速学习的最佳机会。不过我们可能比较少听到的是成人发展这个概念。而20多岁作为成人发展的关键期同样也是我们进行改变和快速成长的最佳机会。20多岁时任何一个改变都可能带来巨大的影响。20多岁时我们看似寻常的生活将会为我们的未来带来超乎寻常的影响。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-mfk0zlt","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-mfk0zlt","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-4vncu9v","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-4vncu9v","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"我们将探讨为什么20多岁时的工作经历往往对我们未来的职业生涯及经济收入产生最大的影响即使它们看上去并不光鲜。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-r4qxu6x","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-r4qxu6x","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-yuj0tdr","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-yuj0tdr","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"你将会发现为什么是那些我们几乎不认识的人而非最亲近的朋友对我们的人生影响最大。你将会发现如何踏入职场才会让我们感觉更好而非更糟。你将会发现为什么同居或许并非测试感情的最好方式。你将会发现为什么20多岁时我们的性格会发生最大的改变而非这之前或这之后。你将会发现我们可以选择我们的家庭而不只是选择我们的朋友。你将会发现自信并非由内而外而是由外而内"}]}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-lsdz008","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":2,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-lsdz008","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"工作"}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-rypvftm","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":3,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-rypvftm","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"重点笔记"}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-j6twi0j","Type":"NodeList","ListData":{},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-j6twi0j","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-yfhi1ai","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-yfhi1ai","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-4vje2wj","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-4vje2wj","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"身份资本是我们个人资本的积累。它体现着我们是谁,以及我们的人生是如何度过的。它包括我们对自己的投资,以及因我们擅长或长时间从事而逐渐演变为自己身份一部分的事情。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-te9crjg","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-te9crjg","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-hsse7cc","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-hsse7cc","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"一些身份资本,譬如学位证书、工作经历、考试成绩或社团活动,可以写在简历里;但另一些身份资本,则更为私人化,包括我们是如何向外界展现自己的,我们是如何解决问题的,我们从哪里来,以及我们的爱好或其他人生经历"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-6apurxs","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-6apurxs","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-sagi4c9","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-sagi4c9","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"随着身份认同危机的概念在美国逐渐流行,埃里克森曾亲自提醒大家,不要花太多时间在“无谓的迷茫”(disengaged confusion)[插图]上。他对于太多年轻人处于“脱离社会的危险”表示担忧。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-x11p8mz","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-x11p8mz","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-b4uaeck","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-b4uaeck","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"还有些工作则可以给自己积累身份资本,就像我做户外拓展的领队一样,而这比什么都强"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-707sbai","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-707sbai","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-v1hcugl","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-v1hcugl","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"与20多岁时失业相关联的是中年时期的酗酒问题和精神抑郁[插图],即使有了固定工作,情况也没有改变"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-vbiwjf2","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-vbiwjf2","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-r9ryjaj","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-r9ryjaj","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"为了避免踏入“真实世界”而不去从事“真正的工作”,因此在就业不足的状态里年复一年地混着日子。慢慢地,他们被这样的状态磨去了本有的激情和动力,而不再去寻找那些或许能让他们真正快乐的工作"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-eeo488s","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-eeo488s","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-qrjuzwf","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-qrjuzwf","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"“在你20多岁时你一生能赚多少钱就已经基本确定了”"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-rub4dw3","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-rub4dw3","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-fuda5ad","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-fuda5ad","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"他们在步入三四十岁后或许有一天会突然发现自己20多岁时随意选择的工作最终让自己付出了惨痛的代价。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-0yslbrh","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-0yslbrh","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-aki520v","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-aki520v","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"一直以来的建议都是选择身份资本含量最高的工作。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-pe6nw4k","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-pe6nw4k","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-4ytsltk","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-4ytsltk","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"在我认识的朋友里,没有哪个人在毕业的时候,就非常清楚自己想做什么。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-hermon5","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-hermon5","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-pkkl5fv","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-pkkl5fv","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"我在这里学到的一个教训是:你没办法通过苦思冥想来了解自己想做什么,唯一的办法就是,去做一些事情。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-j00f50y","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-j00f50y","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-lr669ox","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-lr669ox","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"不难想象,五年十年之后,咖啡馆的海伦和动画公司的海伦,她们之间的差别将会有多大。"}]}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-b1rr1hc","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":2,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-b1rr1hc","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"2 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* *早于Facebook出现的25年前社会学家兼斯坦福大学教授马克·格兰诺维特(Mark 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high)[插图]。无数研究表明,利他行为与健康、长寿和幸福——所有这些成年人想要的东西,都呈正相关关系。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-g1vakn8","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-g1vakn8","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-cv83tca","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-cv83tca","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"有些年轻人在向弱连接求助时,会带来过于宽泛的职业问题,企图让别人帮自己规划未来。这些问题或许难不倒这些成功人士,但是这很可能会占据他们太多时间。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-ubx72t4","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-ubx72t4","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-8ot6roz","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-8ot6roz","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"在我们20多岁时弱连接会是我们最好的资源不仅现在是未来也是只要你有勇气了解自己想要什么。"}]}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-1c0rk9t","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":2,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-1c0rk9t","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"3 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Iyengar)所创。艾扬格在斯坦福大学研究人们如何做出选择时想到当地的杂货铺是研究该问题的最佳场所。于是她让自己的研究助手乔装为果酱小贩在一家食品杂货铺前摆摊。其中一个摊位有6种口味的果酱桃子酱、黑樱桃酱、红加仑酱、猕猴桃酱、橘子酱及柠檬酱。而另外一个摊位有24种不同口味的果酱除去刚才的6种再加上另外18种。凡是品尝过果酱的顾客都可以凭优惠券购买果酱。这项果酱实验的核心发现"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-atvo6wg","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-atvo6wg","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-lijeynk","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-lijeynk","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":",人们在做选择时,少即是多。也就是说,我们所面临的选择越少,我们则越有可能做出选择。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-l0tt6i6","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-l0tt6i6","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-tjktin4","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-tjktin4","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"这意味着人们在面临更少选择时做出选择的可能性是面临更多选择时的10倍。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-9obj0vs","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-9obj0vs","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-48im567","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-48im567","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"我问他,是否也被人生中所谓的太多选择所淹没。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-guf9d6b","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-guf9d6b","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-c9zfc75","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-c9zfc75","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"“好问题。”我说“如果你想在20多岁时做出任何决定我想部分原因必定在于你已经意识到了所谓的24种口味并不存在。这是一个迷思。”"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-glzeumn","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-glzeumn","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-dvfjpe6","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-dvfjpe6","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"不过我至今还没有遇到过真正面临着24个实际选择的年轻人。其实每个人都是在从自己现有的6种口味里选择最好的一个。”"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-308h6hg","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-308h6hg","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-6mirx5h","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-6mirx5h","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"你过去20多年的时间并不是白过的它们塑造了现在的你包括你的经历、你的学历、你的兴趣、你的优势和劣势、你喜欢什么及不喜欢什么。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-s1zbxqo","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-s1zbxqo","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-cuc64hs","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-cuc64hs","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"你不想面对你已经知道的,你一直在逃避。”"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-w4qg76n","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-w4qg76n","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-jjx2eep","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-jjx2eep","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"我听说伊恩曾主修建筑学,但中途放弃,转而攻读认知科学专业;因为他对科技和感知感兴趣。我看到伊恩在谈到想做创意性工作时的那种轻松的样子。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-v5japr5","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-v5japr5","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-4cjxgqi","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-4cjxgqi","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"这样说没什么不好。工作优先于爱情我从20多岁的年轻人那里——尤其是年轻男性那里曾无数次听到这样的表述。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-g1q9srs","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-g1q9srs","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-oh6i9dp","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-oh6i9dp","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"伊恩的故事,刚好印证了精神分析学家克里斯托弗·博拉斯(Christopher Bollas)所提出的“未知的已知”(the unthought known)[插图]。它指的是那些我们本来知道,但不知怎的又在意识中被遗忘的事物。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-75jbhoc","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-75jbhoc","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-0m08xld","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-0m08xld","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"甚至在更多时候,我们害怕那些未知的已知将会为自己人生带来真正的影响。我们不愿承认,那些未知的已知可能就是我们接下来所要做的事情。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-b25grbn","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-b25grbn","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-hz6ixr5","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-hz6ixr5","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"。让人更为害怕的不确定是你很想要,但不知如何得到;努力争取,但不知是否会成功。当我们做出决定,这意味着我们可能会经历失败和心碎,痛苦与磨难。所以有时候选择不知道、不决定、不行动,会感觉更容易。"}]}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-rpy7zmb","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":2,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-rpy7zmb","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"4 Instagram上的完美人生"}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-60rr2e0","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":3,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-60rr2e0","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"重点笔记"}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-0agr6wy","Type":"NodeList","ListData":{},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-0agr6wy","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-qdjqawm","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-qdjqawm","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-h19xqnv","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-h19xqnv","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"如果我们只想幸福,那其实易如反掌;但如果我们想比别人更幸福,那将会难于登天。因为我们总感觉别人更幸福。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-nhhdppi","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-nhhdppi","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-lse22xf","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-lse22xf","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"向上社会比较,指的是我们将自己与那些有着或看上去有着更好生活的人进行比较的过程。有时,它可以帮助自我评价,甚至还可以激励我们前进。但更多时候,它会损害我们的自信,让我们变得萎靡不振,动力不足。"}]}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-8jrswbm","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":2,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-8jrswbm","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"5 追求荣耀"}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-9nlfydq","Type":"NodeHeading","HeadingLevel":3,"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-9nlfydq","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"重点笔记"}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-xtqvops","Type":"NodeList","ListData":{},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-xtqvops","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-da7me9h","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-da7me9h","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-lgjcd5y","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-lgjcd5y","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"完美,是卓越的敌人。——伏尔泰,作家、哲学家幸福的真谛,在于思想与行动的统一。——圣雄甘地,作家、哲学"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-xxgznk5","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-xxgznk5","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-ebx8cia","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-ebx8cia","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"目标来源于内在的向往,而“应该”来源于外在的评判。目标是我们自己真正的渴望,而“应该”是别人强加给自己的标准。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-w48h1rv","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-w48h1rv","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-7fxn8r3","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-7fxn8r3","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"学校里,塔莉娅很擅长遵循指令。但工作之后,她变得更加独立自主。她处理人际关系的能力也在无数的会议和电话沟通中得到了提升"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-6dvwlbs","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-6dvwlbs","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-q8r5ipa","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-q8r5ipa","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"我知道我不能再因为这不好那不好而一直焦虑下去了。人生本来就是不完美的。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-ijmyg7o","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-ijmyg7o","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-tap2x20","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-tap2x20","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"现在回看我的20多岁时的经历我觉得就像从梦里被突然叫醒虽然粗鲁但是值得。我甚至很感激这一切让我经历了内在的蜕变。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-rxozxc2","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-rxozxc2","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-80fdapf","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-80fdapf","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"工作日下班后,她会坐在家里,翻着以前派对上或度假时的照片,怀念过去的美好时光。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-6lmlrsu","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-6lmlrsu","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-j4rr0n9","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-j4rr0n9","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"“我现在难道不应该去法国旅行三年或者做点诸如此类的事吗?”她的语气里带着一半疑惑和一半愤怒。"}]}]},{"ID":"20250916101156-q37vtzb","Type":"NodeListItem","ListData":{"BulletChar":42,"Marker":"Kg=="},"Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-q37vtzb","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"ID":"20250916101156-hqnvpap","Type":"NodeParagraph","Properties":{"id":"20250916101156-hqnvpap","updated":"20250916101156"},"Children":[{"Type":"NodeText","Data":"成年人的生活不是建立在美食、祈祷和恋爱上,而是建立在人物、地点和事情上:我们和谁在一起,我们住在哪里,我们靠什么谋生,这些才是构成我们生活的元素,也是我们生活的起点。"}]}]}]}]}